envious

yesterday i slept at about 1 o'clock when the power was out. hah ngomong apa sih lo raa.. mo sok2 bahasa inggris tp ga bisa! F!

semalem gw tidur jam 1 pas udah mati lampu, jam stengah 4 kebangun, lampu udah nyala. gw bangun unutk nyalain ac. nyalain ac kamar gw harus pake payung yang panjang trus neken tombol di ac nya. gara2 sensor remotenya gatau kenapa.
anyway gue bangun jam 12. gw bergegas junub, baya2 solat and makan.

abis itu praktis gw di depan laptop in order to fix my blog which disapper on google.
huaa, gila tanpa sadar gw di depan laptop dr siang sampe malem, ga selse2 ngutak ngatik.
apakah itu bisa disebut dengan me time?

si bebi sms, cuma gw jawab sekali. trs dia bales lagi. lalu gue berasa aneh, ga semangat untuk membalasnya. yaudah gue cuekin aja. lagipula he was on his way to sydney. huh kayanya perfect bgt disaat gw lagi uring2an sendirian, eh dia pergi. gapapa juga sih.

anehh deh gw hari inii..
huaaa... ga bergairah untuk berhubungan dengan si bebi..
lagi ngerasa down..
lagi minder..
ga punya duit..
pengen liburan banget. sendirian.
tp ga punya duit.
HUAAAA!

tauu ga sihh, lately gw lagi minder, ngerasa tiba2 ga bisa writing & speaking in english.
minder banget ngeliat orang yang tulisan inggrisnya bagus..
liat aja diawal, gw kan sok2an nulis pake b.inggris tp kaya stuck gtu otak gw. butuh berpikir keras to write in english. kinda need twice times to write it down.
huaaa.. bebiii plis lift me up.
kalo lagi down gini gue bener2 butuh orang, need someone to lift me up.
i cant motivate my ownself lately,
whats wrong with me?
errghhh.
i envy with people who's getting married
i envy with people who can write in english fluently and beautifully
i envy with people who still have their mother
i envy with people who have their family harmonious
i envy with people who have much money
i envy with people who works on their passion
i envy with people who earn money by themselves
AHHHH!
complicated.
irian.

i know now im far away from God. i have to catch Allah as soon as possible.
thats why gue gundah gulana ginii.. ah!
uhuuu!